Necromancers in England! Oh My!

Archaeologists are not necromancers, but the university educated team from Leicester is crossing the line in the sand.  They have broken into the hallowed grounds of the Grey Friars monastery in search of King Richard III of England.  They have not found the king, but instead have stumbled onto a tomb no one, but God was supposed to find.  Not only have they found a tomb purportedly a hundred years older than Richard III, but this tomb contains a coffin with another coffin within it. Both coffins are lined with lead.  Do these fools not see this body was sealed within a second layer to keep meddlers, thieves, and especially necromancers out!

Baltus Hafez has found new followers and recreated his cult of Imhotep at Leicester.   It is too late to put a stop to the dark necromantic ritual on the foul and despicable creature that was locked away.  Our only hope lies with Rick O’Connell and Ardeth Bay.  Otherwise this could just be the beginning of all out takeover by the undead and their necromancer masters.

Lost and Found Continents

It turns out sea monsters are not the only thing rising from the deep, as researchers have discovered a lost continent off the coast of Brazil. Could this be the fabled Atlantis that famously sank into the sea as a result of the self-indulgent excesses of its arrogant population? Almost certainly.

Who knows what ancient relics we may come across in our explorations? Idols to terrible heathen gods, fearsome technology not meant for the hands of man, books of forbidden knowledge, the very sight of which may tear men's minds asunder?

One thing is certain, that the wicked and sinful ways of America will sooner or later doom us to a similar watery fate. Let these explorers tread with caution, lest they unearth the very cause that brought ruin upon the Atlanteans, a ruin which may soon come to us all.

Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Doom!

Deep beneath the Earth's crust lurk many wonders from the ancient world, some great, some terrible, some utterly inscrutable. Archaeology's latest find combines all three in a ruined temple from the ancient Mexican city of Teotihuaca, whose floor was discovered littered with mysterious, gold-colored orbs.

The original purpose of these spherical enigmas is not known, but the tunnels leading out of the temple had been carefully packed with rubble and debris, as though the residents wanted to keep them hidden forever. The ancient Teotihuacans are known to have practiced ritual human sacrifice, so it seems likely that they managed to awaken something dark and terrible, an antediluvian horror that man was never meant to see.

Hollywood has taught us time and again that no good can come from disturbing the relics of the past, especially those that were intentionally hidden from us. Just as the Curse of the Mummy's Tomb claimed so many lives back in the 1930s, so will these orbs doubtless bring furious retribution down upon our meddling heads.

One Ring to Show Them All

The ancient, cursed ring that served as the inspiration for Isildur's Bane of Middle Earth is being removed from the formerly watchful eyes of Britain's National Trust and unwisely put on display for the vulgar, unwashed public.

Tempting fate seems to be a popular exercise for museum curators, who have apparently learned nothing from the whole Mummy fiasco. A cursed ring of power on advertised public display is really just par for the course for these incautious souls.

They might as well put out a "Welcome Nazgul" sign and get it over with.