Biblical Plague Comes to United Kingdom!!

Do you live on that famed island off the western coast of Europe?  Have you been enjoying the beautiful summer, gone dog waking, or even barbecuing some burgers?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are in grave, grave danger.

British wasps are targeting you!  They have completed their job for their Queen and are now carousing the streets of fair London, the beaches of Brighton, and even in some cases invading the homes of students in Hyde Park!  These once docile insects have been sucking down the forbidden fermented fruits getting pissed.  And everyone knows how the Brits love to get zonked just imagine how much the wasps love it!

These insane, rat arsed wasps are also well armed giving them a supreme advantage over their unwitting targets.  All humans within sight are being injected by their dangerous and diabolical stingers.  The only defense is Mother Nature bringing about a cold snap exterminating them in one fell swoop.  This will never happen as humans have triggered endless global warming creating a paradise for the bladdered wasps!

GMOs? Oh no!

Food is bad. Don't eat food.

Doom and Gloom on Film: Reefer Madness (1936)

Tell your children! The greatest threat America has ever faced - marijuana! - is alive and well. With Colorado and Washington's recent actions to legalize the deadly narcotic, this prophetic film is more relevant now than ever.

Reefer Madness is the chilling chronicle of some innocent, clean cut, God fearing teenagers who are lured into the depths of depravity by the sinister siren song of marijuana. In a matter of days, these poor young people fall from their positions as star athletes and paragons of virtue into the ranks of murderers, rapists and the criminally insane.

The educational value of this film cannot be overstated, as we are taught the often obscured truth that marijuana use leads inevitably to incurable madness, but be warned! These images may shock and disturb you. If it is merely entertaining escapism that you are after (understandable given the deplorable state of the world,) then this is not the film for you. Still, its message is of dire importance if we hope to stem the tide of wickedness that, if left unchecked, will destroy us all.

Who will be next to fall under the grip of the deadly weed? It could be your son, or your daughter, or yours, or YOURS!

The Spice Between Your Ears

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, another threat has emerged from the most unlikely of places, the shadowy depths of America's spice cabinets. Teenagers across the country are swallowing cinnamon with such wild abandon that it is causing asphyxiation and lung scarring. With dozens of self-destructive teens already requiring medical care from this fad, it appears all but certain that this poisonous bark will soon replace arsenic and cyanide as the toxin of choice for malicious miscreants and maladjusted misanthropes.

Cinnamon is already ubiquitous in our culture, worming its wretched way into everything from oatmeal cookies to coffee to the fabled churros found south of the border. With so potent a toxin surrounding us on all sides, how long will it be before we are all destroyed by its exquisite, irresistible flavor?