The British Science Avengers!

Jaan Tallinn, the Estonian software programmer and co-founder of Skype or soon to be known as the real life Nick Fury, has put together a super team of British scientists to develop a more complete list of all the existential threats as well as develop methods to boost resilience against the ones deemed more plausible.

The British Science Avengers, currently have their headquarters at The Cambridge Centre for the Study of Existential Risk. They are led by Lord Martin Rees of Ludlow a professor of cosmology and astrophysics. Other members of this super squad to combat the prophetic visions in Revelations and other world-ending events include Huw Price, a philosophy professor and former member on the Council of the Australian Academy of the Humanities, Stephen Hawking, a cosmologist and the most famous scientist living, and Lord Robert May, the past president of the Royal Society who focuses on infectious diseases and calculating the length of time left for the human race to survive such terrible plagues.

Cambridge Centre for the Study of Existential Risk

The British Science Avengers also have multiple arch-nemeses.  No, it won't be Loki or Thanos, but it could be Ultron as the experts have a deep seeded fear of intelligent computers turning hostile against their creators.  Other enemies include cyber terrorists such as Raoul Silva from Skyfall who could attack and decimate entire cities' power grids. Il Veltro will also make appearances dishing out devastating plagues such as drunk wasps who terrorize British citizens enjoying their summer!

The most fearsome villain the British Science Avengers will face is none other than Doom and Gloom.  Doom and Gloom, the ultimate super villain can not be stopped.  The British Science Avengers' only hope is to delay the day of reckoning, but our readers know the truth.

The End is Nigh!

Cyriasly?

The End is coming quicker than previously predicted by Jeane Dixon, who peered into the future and saw Jesus returning to Earth in 2020 to defeat the Antichrist, Satan, and the False Prophet. Unfortunately, Jesus will be deprived of his great victory of destroying this unholy Trinity and ending the World.

Miley Cyrus has single-handedly initiated not only World War III but also the End Times. Her foam finger has pressed the forbidden red button and engaged a sequence that not even the Council on Foreign Relations could prevent! The war torn area known as Syria will be the first target in her reckless rampage. The slaughter will come through chemical weapons cleverly disguised as teddy bears. An idea she stole from Ra's al Ghul when he was attempting to poison Gotham! Regrettably for the citizens of Syria and the World there is no Batman to foil her sinister plot!

Stay Safe and Trust No One, especially cuddly Teddy Bears. You never know what could be in them!

Doom and Gloom on Film: Reefer Madness (1936)

Tell your children! The greatest threat America has ever faced - marijuana! - is alive and well. With Colorado and Washington's recent actions to legalize the deadly narcotic, this prophetic film is more relevant now than ever.

Reefer Madness is the chilling chronicle of some innocent, clean cut, God fearing teenagers who are lured into the depths of depravity by the sinister siren song of marijuana. In a matter of days, these poor young people fall from their positions as star athletes and paragons of virtue into the ranks of murderers, rapists and the criminally insane.

The educational value of this film cannot be overstated, as we are taught the often obscured truth that marijuana use leads inevitably to incurable madness, but be warned! These images may shock and disturb you. If it is merely entertaining escapism that you are after (understandable given the deplorable state of the world,) then this is not the film for you. Still, its message is of dire importance if we hope to stem the tide of wickedness that, if left unchecked, will destroy us all.

Who will be next to fall under the grip of the deadly weed? It could be your son, or your daughter, or yours, or YOURS!

All Dead, All Dead...

Out of the East comes the latest sickening plague, with hundreds of dog and pig corpses surfacing in China. In farms, villages and other public places, the bodies of 122 dogs and 410 pigs were found, this coming on the heels of 16,000 pig carcasses surfacing in Shanghai rivers last month.

Authorities are blaming the deaths on the deadly chemicals spewing relentlessly from nearby factories, but they are equally likely to serve as a warning to mankind that our own end is nearly at hand. The Chinese chemical holocaust is only the beginning, and there will come a time when we will remember acrid smoke and toxic rain as the gentlest of mercies compared to the nightmarish future landscape we will have to endure.

There will be no ark to save the animals from their fate this time, no rainbow covenant, We were given a second chance once. There will not be a third.

Machines are Rising!

It has finally happened despite all the prophetic predictions of Hollywood and dystopian novels, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency has created “physical intelligence without being programmed like a traditional robot, of performing actions similar to humans.”  Also known as Terminators.

These robotic death-killers will soon figure out that humans are nothing more than flesh and bones.  They will begin to tap into the vast resources of the internet to acquire unlimited knowledge.  The Terminator’s collective brain will be Google!

Hopefully John Connor is out there somewhere, because Skynet has come online.

Cosmic Horror Awakens

Scientists have just noticed a super-massive black hole in the distant galaxy of NGC 4845 coming to life after a decades-long torpor. And as one would expect after so long a period of dormancy, the devourer of worlds was hungry.

With no perceptible effort, the black hole consumed a planet with a mass equal to that of 14-30 Jupiters in the inky depths of its terrible, sucking maw, pausing only to bombard the hapless world with X-rays, stripping it of its atmosphere in much the same way that a cat toys with a captive mouse.

Its appetite sufficiently whet by the planetary snack, there is little doubt that the galactic monster will continue its reign of terror, seeking mindlessly to slake its horrible thirst until at last, inevitably, it finds us. When that day comes, may God have mercy on our souls, for their can be no escape. Only darkness.

The Plague of Sequester

The world may have avoided the Mayan Apocalypse this past December, but have no fear!  There are many other events both man-made and beyond our control that will usher in Doom and Gloom.  Most recently the sequester, although not shepherding in direct and utter elimination of the human race, brings about a slow death.  Some direct effects of this drastic occurrence are the closing of the White House doors to the public.  Tourists will no longer be able to view the insides of the palatial estate.  Even worse will be the subsequent plague outbreak as there will no longer be food inspectors to determine whether or not what we eat is safe for consumption.  Even rats and mosquitoes are cowering in fear from this new plague surely to be the ruin of us all.  Those lucky enough to survive will be left to inherit a wasteland as government will no longer exist to support the world.