A portal to the Underworld has been unearthed in Turkey, as archeologists announce the rediscovery of Pluto's Gate. The cave is described by the ancient texts of Strabo as containing noxious vapors fatal to all animal life.
With their foolish meddling, these so-called scientists have brought to light powers which they cannot possibly comprehend and, like Pandora before them, have unleashed terrors untold upon the world and its unhappy inhabitants.
No doubt the legions of Hell will be emerging shortly to ravage and devour us all. Repent, for the end is nigh.
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